Anxiously Attached: Becoming More Secure in Life and Love

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The child develops certain beliefs about the self and others that shape their adult relationships. Some of these beliefs include: You could also try a new hobby, like drawing, kayaking, or hiking. Anything that makes you recharged, nurtured, and healthy can be considered self-care and can help you on your journey to transforming your attachment style. Consider Therapy

To me it wasn’t particularly informative, probably because I’d just read Attached recently which lays out the groundwork for Attachment Theory brilliantly so I can’t judge this book based on the info but what it did for me was make me stop and reflect A LOT. I also highlighted many parts that resonated deeply and I’ll share some of them below. (Even though there were parts that I did not fully agree with about flow of energy in the first few chapters, I found that the author didn’t really lean heavily on those concepts later on so I’ll ignore that) Although these maladaptive beliefs are coping mechanisms that served a purpose growing up, they can have a negative impact on one’s well-being and ability to form healthy relationships. Hyperactivating strategies, like clinging, controlling, and demanding, will only serve to make your anxiety worse. You can ask them how they manage their anxiety and difficult emotions and how they communicate problems to their significant others. Develop Self-Awareness This is an incredible relationship book that combines several of the things I love- inner child work (which the author calls working with Little Me 🥺) IFS (through working with 'Inner Protector' parts) and nervous system science (moving through the autonomic system responses in your relationship).People with an avoidant attachment style deactivate their need for intimacy and comfort, while people with an anxious attached rely on the reassurance, approval, and validation of others. Understanding one’s attachment style can be helpful in identifying patterns of behavior and working towards more secure and fulfilling relationships. A roadmap for building strong and secure relationships for those who struggle with anxiety in their romantic connections. Candel, O.S. & Turliuc, M.N. (2019). Insecure attachment and relationship satisfaction: A meta-analysis of actor and partner associations. Personality and Individual Differences, 147: 190-199.

Avoidant behaviors (e.g., being physically rejected; communication being shut down; the other person walking away) They can provide guidance, support, and tools to help you explore and develop a more secure attachment style. Normally, I would give 4 stars to books like these but due to the slow pace, boring bits and the effort that I sometimes had to put in to finish certain chapters (not all to be fair) I’ll give it a 3.5. I couldn’t listen to the audio meditations though so I have no idea what those are like xD which feels like I missed a core experience of this book.

Relationships

Self-care refers to deliberate actions and practices that individuals engage in to promote their physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Looking after your body can include exercising regularly, maintaining a balanced diet, and practicing good hygiene.