Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder

Product Information

The foundation of a healthy relationship is based on mutual love, respect, and open and honest communication. If either of these pillars crumbles, then the whole relationship can break down. Your partner is meant to be your best friend and your confidant. This won’t work when you feel the need to walk on eggshells in your relationship. When I read that she equated the feelings of a BP with a third degree burn victim - every single little touch causes a big reaction, often a painful one, it explained quite a lot to me.

Karakurt G, Silver KE. Emotional abuse in intimate relationships: the role of gender and age. Violence Vict. 2013;28(5):804-821. doi:10.1891/0886-6708.vv-d-12-00041 Is it something outside your relationship? You can simply name it and put your partner’s mind at ease. No walking on eggshells necessary. I DESPISED this book. It presents BPD as a burden on the lives of those people "unfortunate" enough to care for someone who has it. It focuses on "surviving the ordeal" rather than helping them find ways to cope with the fallout while being loving and supportive. It all but says "get out while you can" and implies strongly that a BPD person isn't worth loving. For the last twenty years, Stop Walking on Eggshells has been my ‘gold-standard’ recommendation for learning how to live with, love, and care for people who struggle with BPD. Now, Mason and Kreger have improved and updated this masterpiece to include how to cope with narcissistic personalities as well. If you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around people in your life, then read this new edition.” Don’t take responsibility for someone else’s actions. You did not cause this to happen. If an event that involved you preceded the episode, recall the difference between causes and triggers.Negative impact on self-esteem: If you’re constantly worried about saying or doing the wrong thing, you may start to doubt your own judgment and abilities. Over time, this can erode your self-esteem and confidence. Very impressive! This third edition of Stop Walking on Eggshells is a compendium of practical advice. Written in a friendly style, it’s like reading a letter from someone who really cares about you. New chapters, such as the chapter on BPD in children and teenagers, further enhance the book, discussing a previously ignored issue. I strongly recommend this five-star book.”

A person who causes another to resort to eggshell behavior is often guilty of emotional abuse , as one partner is placed on high alert to the other’s next moves. You’re afraid that at any moment, with one wrong move, you can trigger your partner’s outbursts. It’s exactly how walking on eggshells in a relationship is. You accept everything that is thrown at you because you feel that you are powerless and weak and that you can’t stand up for yourself. Deep inside, you know this as a fact. That’s why you just try your best to let everything pass. 9. One-way decision making Ending a relationship can be distressing – no matter how your partner had been. To understand the need to move out of the relationship, you need to understand your emotional needs and what you need from a partner – emotionally, too. Own the pattern you have to break within yourself. By your response to poor behavior you teach the eggshell spreader how to treat you. If you refuse to confront and let things slide the message is “go ahead and treat me poorly, I can tolerate it.”Navigating this territory requires its own strategy and agreements– which is more than a single blog can cover. ‘Cause conflict in relationships ain’t simple. (If this is the part you find difficult, keep reading. There’s some important next steps for you.) These mood swings can be quite intense or sudden and can last for a long time. It’s also important to understand that if you’re constantly finding yourself walking on eggshells around your partner, then your partner might be guilty of emotional abuse. Emotional abuse involves manipulating and controlling actions that one does to embarrass, shame, and criticize the other. The accusations that this book is trash-talking BP's or BPD and just a way for people to learn how to leave them are not true at all as any unbiased reader can clearly see when reading the book.